Couples Counseling: When Being Right is Wrong.
When I heard my own voice crack while saying “I do” during my marriage ceremony over two decades ago, I must have had a premonition that I understood nothing about how to have a thriving relationship. Was I wise enough to read up on the subject? Did I reflect on what I had learned from my family or my cultural role models? I must have thought that I could just walk into a marriage and live happily-ever-after. Perhaps many of us thought the same thing!
Think of it this way: To be a great skier, you have to take lessons and practice. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for a broken bone, not a glorious glide down the slopes. Building a vibrant relationship is no different.
Years later, after my divorce, I committed myself to becoming masterful at creating and thriving relationships and fixing broken ones, for myself and others.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that sometimes Being Right is Wrong! So often many of us get stuck in one rigid position and that’s where we stay: stuck! In the realm of feelings and opinions, there is no “right.” There is either open or closed, fear or love.
How often do you insist on being right? How often does your partner? Why? Being “right” closes the conversation and the flow of energy between you. Then you become locked in opposite positions, with no opportunity to move forward.
Ask yourself: Can I listen to the person in front of me from my heart? Can my partner listen to me?
It’s best when it’s a two way street. You don’t need to agree: when there are two people in the room, you can expect two different opinions. But if you both listen to one another from your heart, allowing your differences, you will both learn, grow and be transformed together.
Questions for you: Am I closing or opening the conversation? Can I have my voice and let my partner have his or hers? Can I agree to allow two different people to be in the room? I always want to hear your thoughts, dreams, visions, and winning tips, as well as the problems you’re currently struggling with that you need help resolving. I invite you share with me on the Unlimited Life NY Blog or contact me personally @ firstname.lastname@example.org or 212-595-7373.
Couples Counseling: When Being Right is Wrong – By Dr Lynda Klau