COUPLES COUNSELING: LOVING THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU

Couple walking with dog

Couples Counseling and Communication

Does this scene sound familiar?  You’re in a relationship. You want your partner to do something for you, but you never expressed your need. Now you’re angry because you didn’t get what you wanted.

At the beginning of our lives, as infants, we can’t communicate what we want. We have no choice but to depend upon others to give us what we need.

But we’re not infants anymore. As adults, we cannot realistically expect our partners to play the role of omniscient parents, magically anticipating and satisfying our needs.

A relationship is called a relationship because we are supposed to be relating, not mind-reading— otherwise, it would be called a “mind-reading-ship.” In order to build a mutually satisfying, mature relationship, each of us needs to:

  • Become aware of our true needs and wants
  • Ask for what we want in a clear and open way
  • Accept the disappointment of sometimes hearing “No”
  • Listen from our heart to what our partner asks of us
  • Ask ourselves what is truly right for us and have the courage to respond to our partner accordingly.

The more you and your partner learn to communicate, share your feelings, truly hear one another, and co-create solutions, you’ll increasingly be able to embrace the differences between the two of you. This paves the way for true love and compassion.

“… Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

Dr. Lynda Klau

drlyndaklau, 1 212 595 7373, drlyndaklau@gmail.com

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1 Comment

Filed under counseling, couples counseling, couples psychotherapy, Life Coaching, love, marriage, personal coaching, relationships, romance, twitter

One response to “COUPLES COUNSELING: LOVING THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU

  1. Hi Lynda,
    A good reminder of the important needs each of us has in relationship to each other.
    A beautiful quote by Rilke as well.
    Look forward to more of your posts.

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