5 Tools to Shift from People Pleasing to Being You
Not sure who you are? If you are a Yes to many of these questions then be assured that you are a people pleaser who may want to read on . . .
- Do you know what you really love and need?
- Are you afraid of having a conflict and losing your connection and being alone?
- Do you feel you are “not enough and need to pretend to be someone you are not?”
- Does negative feedback devastate you?
- Are you brilliant at giving other people exactly what they need but angry because no one gives you what you need?
- Are you somewhere on this spectrum but definitely not as authentic as you want to be?
If this is you, don’t judge yourself! People pleasing is one very powerful way of surviving. However, there is another way . . .
I have helped many people go from being invisible to authentic, discover who they really are, find what they want, and have the courage to be themselves. In fact I spent years taking personal and professional training courses to journey from “people pleaser to authentic.” Now I’ve learned how to share quickly and powerfully what it took me years to learn.
Here are some key tools to begin being brilliant at Being You!
- Repeat this Affirmation over and over again—I want to please you, but not at the expense of losing myself.
- When asked if you want to do something, give yourself some space and time to know what you want. For example you can say “ I need to look at my calendar, and I’ll get back to you. Then sit quietly with yourself and see what is right for you.
- Practice saying “No” with a friend. Sit facing each other and say out loud “NO.” After a number of saying No then add some content. “No I don’t want to get pregnant.” “No I don’t want to make love now”. “No I don’t want to go to work today.” Notice the feelings you have that go with your No. Angry, loving, scared . . . Can you say “No” and be loving?
- Adopt this belief: I can be the real me and simultaneously be connected to others. I can be Separate and Connected.
- Buy a beautiful journal—the I Can Be Real Journal—Every night do an Evening Review of the Day. What did I say or do that was real and right for me today? How do I feel in my body as I remember that? Where did I give the real me up today? How do I feel in my body as I remember that? In these cases repeat the scene and imagine a different ending where you respond from a “real you” response. This is healing.
We are offering a New Teleclass on this critical topic: Are You Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic? This is for your personal and professional growth. To stay informed, to get free resources, and to get teleclass details click here and sign up in the box.
Feel free to contact Lynda at Lynda@drlyndaklau.com
Read about the workshop and to get future announcements by clicking here
“You become a people pleaser to survive, you become authentic to thrive.”
Dr. Lynda Klau
Founder and Director of
Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility
1 212 595 7373