Category Archives: business counseling

Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO, Encourages Women to Lean In: Burnout or Liberation?

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I just wrote a press release I want to share with you:

In her recent book, Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg never addresses the necessity for the foundational power of Self-Care nor does she offer a roadmap for women that articulates the possibilities for a new model of work and living informed by wholeness, says Lynda Klau, Ph.D. Director of Life Unlimited: the Center for Human Possibility. Dr. Klau is offering a 5-week Webinar, Burn Out Prevention: Live a Life with Love for women and here are some steps you can begin now.

New York, NY (PRWEB) May 21, 2013

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While Sandberg’s observations are insightful, her manifesto for Liberation “lean in”, go to the top and lead advocates Burnout, not Liberation. Dr. Klau asserts that Self-Care is foundational and essential, not only to prevent burnout and illness, but to support women in creating lives they love. During the last 30 years there’s been an alarming positive correlation between women’s increasing stress levels and heart disease and diabetes. Self-Care includes and is not limited to time for play, silence, mindfulness, meditation, sleeping deeply and long enough, breathing, time off each day, vacations, being in your flow, doing what you love, and much more. These practices are for all women regardless of their finances and family situation.

In Dr. Klau’s opinion, another sin of omission in Lean In is that this author doesn’t delve into the unique qualities of what it means to be feminine: our emotional intelligence, relational qualities, intuition/inspiration, holistic thinking and connection with our bodies and our essence. She views Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo, as two prominent examples of just how far you can go using a male model of sitting at the table. However, Dr. Klau recommends a new model for women that needs to embrace both Self-Care as well as the unique qualities of the feminine. Only then will there be a chance for living in breadwinner-caretaker balance and wisdom, wonder, freedom and the process of true change.

Here are four exercises Dr. Klau suggests to begin:

  • Shut off all technological devices and sit quietly for five minutes every day.
  • Do something you consider play “just for you” for at least fifteen minutes per day.
  • Ask yourself: what really matters. Make a list of the things you love to do that gives you energy.

Tom Brokaw of NBC called our time the Century of Women. The Dalai Lama has said it is the western woman who will lead us to the new world. That’s quite a mandate—and a compliment as well! But in order to do so, Dr. Klau urges women to learn to care for themselves so that they have the opportunity of fulfilling their potential.

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility in New York, NY, through psychotherapycoaching, and speaking has been providing a broad spectrum of services helping women and men actualize themselves and their dreams for more than 25 years using a non-formulaic, holistic, integrative, body, mind, and neuroscience approach. They are offering a 5-week empowering Videoconference Webinar, Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love for women seeking increased success, deeper self-awareness, and to live a life with love. This is a roadmap for flourishing in these times. Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love will be held over the course of five consecutive Wednesday evenings in June and July. You are invited to attend their free introductory video conferencing webinar on Wednesday June 5th @ 7:30pm EST.

For more information on Life Unlimited programs for individuals (women and men) please visit their website: http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com e: Lynda@drlyndaklau.com, t: 212 595 7373, text: +1 (917) 830 7298

The innovative work of Life Unlimited has been featured in This Emotional Life – PBS, WBAI, Sirius Satellite Radio, Cable TV, GAINS Journal, Your Tango, Common Boundary, The Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy Journal and other media outlets.

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Wow! That was an experience!

I invite you to attend my free introductory videoconference webinar.

And the 5-week Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love course that follows.

Feel free to view the final version online at PRWeb and pass on my press release.

warmest wishes,

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Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

life-unlimited-blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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“Take the first step” toward Real Communication

Take the first step says poet David Whyte, not the second or the third for real communication: with yourself, at work, at home . . . in all communications, in all relationships.

Learn how to LISTEN even when you are angry or convinced you are right. Learn how to say what needs to be said that’s in your head and heart.

Over and over again I find myself being moved when I hear another tell me their experience. Like yesterday, I went to a new dentist who I didn’t want to like. My beloved dentist of years had retired and sold his practice to Dr. J.

Little by little as I shared my negative thoughts with a patient in the waiting room and listened to her, and then listened to Eileen as she cleaned my teeth, I saw my closed, fixed opinion begin to soften and open. And finally I meet Dr. J. He is shockingly lovely, open and smart. He is the first dentist who will listen to me talk about my health food toothpastes that have me coming for teeth cleanings every six months instead of the typical three-month visit.

Take the first step: learn how to put your feelings into words and share. Learn how to “for real” listen.

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Here’s an exercise for you to develop your sharing and listening muscles.

An Exercise: Sharing Appreciations and Resentments

1.  A speaks her appreciations to B. B listens and doesn’t interrupt. A gives concrete examples, e.g. when I asked you to turn the computer off and you did, I really appreciated that. A gives a concrete example for every appreciation. Maximum time–3 minutes.

2.  B speaks her appreciations to A.  Again, very concrete examples. A listens, hopefully with head and heart and does not interrupt.

3.  A speaks her resentments, once again using concrete examples. B listens, no interruptions.

4.  B shares resentments while A listens.

Do this for a short period of time—3 minutes each maximum.

At first you are practicing speaking and listening. There is no responding.  When you have developed a muscle, you can respond if you want to after the other person has shared. No discussion just a simple response for no more than 1 minute.

This is a powerful exercise. In the end you do not have to agree. You may really disagree. However, if you’re listening with your head, heart and body you will most likely be affected; you and the other will find your authentic way.

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Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director of

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

1 212 595 7373

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WHY I BECAME A HELPING PROFESSIONAL

By Dr. Lynda Klau

Many people have asked me why I became a helping professional. I share my answer with you now.

All my life, it appeared that I was “on the right track,” so that by the time I was in my twenties I had achieved all of the trappings of conventional success: I was married, I had earned my PhD, was financially comfortable and traveled often. But always, deep within, I felt a haunting sense of incompletion—a pervasive longing for something I couldn’t name.

Then one cold winter day in February, when I was twenty-nine, everything changed. On that day, in a professional workshop, I had a number of experiences that pierced the core of my being and unleashed my life energy, my essence, which had largely been locked up.

I felt the power of love: life itself and larger than life, the visible and the invisible. I opened to a new clarity of seeing, through which I met the present moment free from the past. I discovered what I could only call “Real Life.” This, I recognized, was what I had always been looking for—the vision that would pull me forward for the rest of my life.

Like every journey, it happened a step at a time, each step bringing a new freedom. Out of my desire to live “Real Life” which meant heal myself, live from my life energy, my essence, and live in harmony with the mystery of life, I began my life’s work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For over two decades, I have worked with individuals, couples, teams and organizations using my unique integration of a psycho-spiritual therapy, coaching and holistic business strategizing. I am a professional public speaker, and published author; I conduct workshops nationally and internationally and appear on radio and television. As an expert in the development of human possibility, I address a full spectrum of issues, from moving out of “stuckness”, fear and people pleasing—which could manifest as depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and business issues of all sorts—to evolving into a transformational, inside-out mindful and free mentality. In this place we live and thrive as our whole selves; being authentic, present, empowered; having our voice, feeling good enough, pursuing our callings in the world, being leaders, living our lives and giving to the world.

The way I work is: what is present in the moment, experiential and non-formulaic. My recent years of training in brain science, particularly Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), naturally compliments the unique set of skills and cutting-edge tools for transformation that I have trained in and used successfully over the years: breathing, somatic work, mindfulness, guided imagery, Gestalt therapy, Transformational therapy, strength based approaches and more. All of this leading us to living “Real Life.”

I now see that, all along, I was building a roadmap that would help others find their way to this new way of living. It is unending. It is beyond my wildest dreams. It was worth all the work.

Today, I choose to be one of the many who acts as a midwife for the birth of a new world: one that works for everyone. A world that supports us all in being and becoming our best selves, supporting one another, based on the love of truth and the truth of love.

Another world is not only possible. She is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.   

~Arundhati Roy

Stay tuned for our upcoming teleclass-workshops. You can also work with me privately if you wish.

Sign up for my newsletter to be notified of events, click here. Feel free to pass this on to resonant others.

I always want to hear from you,

Lynda

Lynda Klau

 

Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

life-unlimited-blog.com

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Life Coaching: Reclaiming Your Authentic Voice

Life Coaching: Reclaiming Your Authentic Voice

I keep observing how so many of us in this world have lost our true voice, or
never really had it to begin with. How, then, can we reclaim it?

Our Western culture teaches that the personal self is the center of our
universe, the place where all of our competing, conditioned voices live. In
this model, the rational mind of the personal self reigns supreme. The first
step toward reclaiming our authenticity, however, is to embrace a more
expansive model of who we think we are and of how we view the world.
In truth, the whole of who we are is more than sum total of our personal
self, our “persona” and our “shadow.” It is necessary to deconstruct the old
hierarchy that places our ego above our core self, our heart and our body.
Once we realize that all parts of us deserve to be listened to, we can begin to
refocus our intentions and our attention upon reclaiming our authentic voice.

Our ability to impartially observe any part of us has been called
our “witnessing presence.” This refers to a place within us that stands
apart from our conditioned beliefs and self-judgments. It allows us to
differentiate between, harmonize, and ultimately transcend them. To develop
our “witnessing presence” just as we would any other muscle is the key to
emerging from our obstructions into an authentic way of living. From this
perspective, we enter a space in consciousness that is separate from our
identifications with the personal self’ s thoughts and feelings, but which
also respects them. This allows us to experience these beliefs fully without
becoming lost in them. From here, the authentic adult in us surfaces, the
person who can successfully integrate all of his or her conditioned voices
and selves, as well as open to fresh inspirations.

Imagine that you have been in business for fifteen years and you’ ve just
been downsized. Your savings are minimal and your expenses have not
changed: the monthly bills keep piling up in the mailbox, and no new
business is coming in. A common response to such a situation would be to
automatically respond with negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings rooted in
fear: “I will never be able to recover financially. What am I going to live on?
I will never be able to support myself and my family.” Harsh self-judgments
and blame typically accompany these beliefs: “This is my fault! I must have
done something wrong!” It is crucial to realize that these beliefs, whether
coming from the “persona” or “the shadow,” are just that: beliefs. Rather
than representing the entire truth about us, our beliefs account for only one
way of responding to a difficult situation. In reality, our deepest wisdom
does not speak to us judgmentally. When situations challenge us, it is the
authentic adult in us, supported by the “witnessing presence,” that keeps
reminding ourselves that our negative thoughts and feelings are not based in
actual reality, but in our default, conditioned beliefs.

Here’ s an exercise for you, which will help you reclaim your “ witnessing
presence,” the key to unlocking your authentic voice:

The following exercise is designed to launch you on your journey
toward reclaiming your authentic voice by helping you to develop a
strong “witnessing presence”:

1. Think of a situation that is currently a source of stress and conflict in your
life. For example, this situation could involve a frustrated desire to move
forward professionally or personally. It could also involve difficulties in
your family or in your romantic life.

2. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. In your left
column, make a list of concrete facts describing this situation. In your right
column, list your feelings and beliefs about this situation.

3. Often, we are so entrenched in our feelings that we mistake them for facts.
Carefully examine each item on each list and ask yourself, to the best of
your ability, whether the “facts” are actually objectively true, or if they are
your subjective emotions or beliefs. Facts, for example, don’ t tell us “The
sky is falling!”— only feelings do!

4. Based on your findings, reconfigure the two lists so that you have a more
accurate reflection of what information is purely factual and what is based in
your own personal and subjective reactions.

5. Without judging, look at the column on the right, where you have listed
your feelings. Do they seem disproportionate to the facts? If so, try to
listen to them with the knowledge that these are your subjective beliefs and
feelings, not objective facts that define the situation or who you are.

6. Give yourself the space to inhabit and express these feelings on the page.
You are now beginning to witness your feelings without becoming entirely
identified with them.

7. Return to the “facts” of the situation with this new perspective. Having
developed our “witnessing presence,” and having realized that our subjective
responses to a situation are not a direct reflection of reality, we are in fact
developing our authentic voice, a tool of extraordinary power. The feelings
and beliefs rooted in our “persona” and our “shadow” suddenly become less
daunting. Their power over us is diminished profoundly because we see
them in their proper light. This offers the adult in us the ability to address
challenging situations from a more knowing, creative, and proactive place.
Life Coaching
Dr. Lynda Klau

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