Category Archives: counseling

Dear Dad, This is What I Want to Say to You on Father’s Day:

A 21st Century Woman Calls Dads to Action

What do I, a woman and your daughter, have to say to you on Father’s day? When you let yourself be vulnerable it does not mean you are weak.

Matter of fact being vulnerable—open, real, alive, honest, sharing “heartfully”—is the most innovative, creative and powerful place to live and work from.

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It’s so weird dad, women are often criticized because they are too vulnerable or emotional and we, men and women, have been socialized to think—being a male is better, superior, more powerful and women are the second sex, we give ourselves up, we are weak . . . but it’s time to wake up dad.

These beliefs are not true. Actually they are destructive. It’s time to change them. 

It’s time to realize that being vulnerable is sharing our humanity with each other, It is not only healing but it is living on the edge and the unknown, it is life changing.

When men, dear dad, and women, both realize that the more we let down our walls and talk from our hearts, we will know how to love and the world will change.

Dear dad the time is NOW.

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Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

life-unlimited-blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO, Encourages Women to Lean In: Burnout or Liberation?

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I just wrote a press release I want to share with you:

In her recent book, Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg never addresses the necessity for the foundational power of Self-Care nor does she offer a roadmap for women that articulates the possibilities for a new model of work and living informed by wholeness, says Lynda Klau, Ph.D. Director of Life Unlimited: the Center for Human Possibility. Dr. Klau is offering a 5-week Webinar, Burn Out Prevention: Live a Life with Love for women and here are some steps you can begin now.

New York, NY (PRWEB) May 21, 2013

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While Sandberg’s observations are insightful, her manifesto for Liberation “lean in”, go to the top and lead advocates Burnout, not Liberation. Dr. Klau asserts that Self-Care is foundational and essential, not only to prevent burnout and illness, but to support women in creating lives they love. During the last 30 years there’s been an alarming positive correlation between women’s increasing stress levels and heart disease and diabetes. Self-Care includes and is not limited to time for play, silence, mindfulness, meditation, sleeping deeply and long enough, breathing, time off each day, vacations, being in your flow, doing what you love, and much more. These practices are for all women regardless of their finances and family situation.

In Dr. Klau’s opinion, another sin of omission in Lean In is that this author doesn’t delve into the unique qualities of what it means to be feminine: our emotional intelligence, relational qualities, intuition/inspiration, holistic thinking and connection with our bodies and our essence. She views Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo, as two prominent examples of just how far you can go using a male model of sitting at the table. However, Dr. Klau recommends a new model for women that needs to embrace both Self-Care as well as the unique qualities of the feminine. Only then will there be a chance for living in breadwinner-caretaker balance and wisdom, wonder, freedom and the process of true change.

Here are four exercises Dr. Klau suggests to begin:

  • Shut off all technological devices and sit quietly for five minutes every day.
  • Do something you consider play “just for you” for at least fifteen minutes per day.
  • Ask yourself: what really matters. Make a list of the things you love to do that gives you energy.

Tom Brokaw of NBC called our time the Century of Women. The Dalai Lama has said it is the western woman who will lead us to the new world. That’s quite a mandate—and a compliment as well! But in order to do so, Dr. Klau urges women to learn to care for themselves so that they have the opportunity of fulfilling their potential.

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility in New York, NY, through psychotherapycoaching, and speaking has been providing a broad spectrum of services helping women and men actualize themselves and their dreams for more than 25 years using a non-formulaic, holistic, integrative, body, mind, and neuroscience approach. They are offering a 5-week empowering Videoconference Webinar, Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love for women seeking increased success, deeper self-awareness, and to live a life with love. This is a roadmap for flourishing in these times. Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love will be held over the course of five consecutive Wednesday evenings in June and July. You are invited to attend their free introductory video conferencing webinar on Wednesday June 5th @ 7:30pm EST.

For more information on Life Unlimited programs for individuals (women and men) please visit their website: http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com e: Lynda@drlyndaklau.com, t: 212 595 7373, text: +1 (917) 830 7298

The innovative work of Life Unlimited has been featured in This Emotional Life – PBS, WBAI, Sirius Satellite Radio, Cable TV, GAINS Journal, Your Tango, Common Boundary, The Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy Journal and other media outlets.

______________________________________________________________________________

Wow! That was an experience!

I invite you to attend my free introductory videoconference webinar.

And the 5-week Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love course that follows.

Feel free to view the final version online at PRWeb and pass on my press release.

warmest wishes,

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Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

life-unlimited-blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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“Take the first step” toward Real Communication

Take the first step says poet David Whyte, not the second or the third for real communication: with yourself, at work, at home . . . in all communications, in all relationships.

Learn how to LISTEN even when you are angry or convinced you are right. Learn how to say what needs to be said that’s in your head and heart.

Over and over again I find myself being moved when I hear another tell me their experience. Like yesterday, I went to a new dentist who I didn’t want to like. My beloved dentist of years had retired and sold his practice to Dr. J.

Little by little as I shared my negative thoughts with a patient in the waiting room and listened to her, and then listened to Eileen as she cleaned my teeth, I saw my closed, fixed opinion begin to soften and open. And finally I meet Dr. J. He is shockingly lovely, open and smart. He is the first dentist who will listen to me talk about my health food toothpastes that have me coming for teeth cleanings every six months instead of the typical three-month visit.

Take the first step: learn how to put your feelings into words and share. Learn how to “for real” listen.

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Here’s an exercise for you to develop your sharing and listening muscles.

An Exercise: Sharing Appreciations and Resentments

1.  A speaks her appreciations to B. B listens and doesn’t interrupt. A gives concrete examples, e.g. when I asked you to turn the computer off and you did, I really appreciated that. A gives a concrete example for every appreciation. Maximum time–3 minutes.

2.  B speaks her appreciations to A.  Again, very concrete examples. A listens, hopefully with head and heart and does not interrupt.

3.  A speaks her resentments, once again using concrete examples. B listens, no interruptions.

4.  B shares resentments while A listens.

Do this for a short period of time—3 minutes each maximum.

At first you are practicing speaking and listening. There is no responding.  When you have developed a muscle, you can respond if you want to after the other person has shared. No discussion just a simple response for no more than 1 minute.

This is a powerful exercise. In the end you do not have to agree. You may really disagree. However, if you’re listening with your head, heart and body you will most likely be affected; you and the other will find your authentic way.

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Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director of

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

1 212 595 7373

Leave a comment

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Resources: Dare to be Your Real Self!

Shift from being brilliant as a people pleaser to being AUTHENTIC

I love quotes. Do you? May these speak to you, go straight to your heart and inspire you to be who you really are.

                                                                                         Lynda

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
Was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom.
The only true success is to be able to live your life in your own way.
                                                                                         Anais Nin

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.

                                                                                         Carl Jung

A man or woman with outward courage dares to die.
A man or woman with inward courage dares to live.
                                                                                         Lao Tzu

Why must we answer the call to awaken? Why must we follow the questions of our soul? Because it is through habitual, non-inquisitive living that we lose our sense of wonder . . . Only seldom does the haze lift, as we glimpse for a moment the amazing plenitude of being here in the heart of the greatest story ever told—our own lives . . . Once you start to awaken, however, nothing or no one can ever claim you again, pull you back into old patterns. Once you start to awaken, you know how precious your time here—on earth, in this body—is. You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self . . . now you are impatient for growth, willing to put yourself in the way of change . . . You begin to trust the music of your own soul; you have inherited treasure that no one will ever be able to take from
you . . .

                                                                                         John O’Donohue

God, thou who seal thyself in the clouds, or behind the shoemaker’s house
disclose my soul,
that doleful soul of a stammering kid, show me my path,
I don’t want to be like the others;
I want to see a new world.
                                                                                         Marc Chagall

When its over, I want to say all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

                                                                                         Mary Oliver

l learned at least this by my experiences. That if one advances confidently, in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put something behind and will pass an invisible boundary.
                                                                                         Henry David Thoreau

Our past is not our potential. In any hour, with all the stubborn teachers and healers of history who called us to our best selves, we can liberate the future. One by one, we can re-choose—to awaken. To leave the prison of our conditioning, to love, to turn homeward. To conspire with and for each other. Awakening brings its own assignments, unique to each of us, chosen by each of us. Whatever you may think about yourself, and however long you may have thought it, you are not just you. You are a seed, a silent promise. You are the conspiracy.

                                                                                         Marilyn Ferguson

I’d love to hear your comments, questions and favorite quotes.

Lynda

Dr. Lynda Klau
Founder and Director of
Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility
http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com
Life-Unlimited-Blog.com
1 212 595 7373

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Are You Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic?

5 Tools to Shift from People Pleasing to Being You

Not sure who you are? If you are a Yes to many of these questions then be assured that you are a people pleaser who may want to read on . . .

  • Do you know what you really love and need?
  • Are you afraid of having a conflict and losing your connection and being alone?
  • Do you feel you are “not enough and need to pretend to be someone you are not?”
  • Does negative feedback devastate you?
  • Are you brilliant at giving other people exactly what they need but angry because no one gives you what you need?
  • Are you somewhere on this spectrum but definitely not as authentic as you want to be?

If this is you, don’t judge yourself! People pleasing is one very powerful way of surviving. However, there is another way . . .

Are you ready to move from people pleaser to authentic?
And experience the joy of having your real voice and your real self?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have helped many people go from being invisible to authentic, discover who they really are, find what they want, and have the courage to be themselves. In fact I spent years taking personal and professional training courses to journey from “people pleaser to authentic.” Now I’ve learned how to share quickly and powerfully what it took me years to learn.

Here are some key tools to begin being brilliant at Being You!

  1. Repeat this Affirmation over and over again—I want to please you, but not at the expense of losing myself.
  2. When asked if you want to do something, give yourself some space and time to know what you want. For example you can say “ I need to look at my calendar, and I’ll get back to you.  Then sit quietly with yourself and see what is right for you.
  3. Practice saying “No” with a friend. Sit facing each other and say out loud “NO.”  After a number of saying No then add some content.  “No I don’t want to get pregnant.”  “No I don’t want to make love now”. “No I don’t want to go to work today.” Notice the feelings you have that go with your No. Angry, loving, scared . . . Can you say “No” and be loving?
  4. Adopt this belief: I can be the real me and simultaneously be connected to others. I can be Separate and Connected.
  5. Buy a beautiful journal—the I Can Be Real Journal—Every night do an Evening Review of the Day. What did I say or do that was real and right for me today? How do I feel in my body as I remember that? Where did I give the real me up today? How do I feel in my body as I remember that? In these cases repeat the scene and imagine a different ending where you respond from a “real you” response. This is healing.

We are offering a New Teleclass on this critical topic: Are You Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic? This is for your personal and professional growth. To stay informed, to get free resources, and to get teleclass details click here and sign up in the box.

Feel free to contact Lynda at Lynda@drlyndaklau.com

Read about the workshop and to get future announcements by clicking here

“You become a people pleaser to survive, you become authentic to thrive.”

                                                                                                     Lynda Klau

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director of

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

New Teleclass: Are you Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic?

1 212 595 7373

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WHY I BECAME A HELPING PROFESSIONAL

By Dr. Lynda Klau

Many people have asked me why I became a helping professional. I share my answer with you now.

All my life, it appeared that I was “on the right track,” so that by the time I was in my twenties I had achieved all of the trappings of conventional success: I was married, I had earned my PhD, was financially comfortable and traveled often. But always, deep within, I felt a haunting sense of incompletion—a pervasive longing for something I couldn’t name.

Then one cold winter day in February, when I was twenty-nine, everything changed. On that day, in a professional workshop, I had a number of experiences that pierced the core of my being and unleashed my life energy, my essence, which had largely been locked up.

I felt the power of love: life itself and larger than life, the visible and the invisible. I opened to a new clarity of seeing, through which I met the present moment free from the past. I discovered what I could only call “Real Life.” This, I recognized, was what I had always been looking for—the vision that would pull me forward for the rest of my life.

Like every journey, it happened a step at a time, each step bringing a new freedom. Out of my desire to live “Real Life” which meant heal myself, live from my life energy, my essence, and live in harmony with the mystery of life, I began my life’s work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For over two decades, I have worked with individuals, couples, teams and organizations using my unique integration of a psycho-spiritual therapy, coaching and holistic business strategizing. I am a professional public speaker, and published author; I conduct workshops nationally and internationally and appear on radio and television. As an expert in the development of human possibility, I address a full spectrum of issues, from moving out of “stuckness”, fear and people pleasing—which could manifest as depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and business issues of all sorts—to evolving into a transformational, inside-out mindful and free mentality. In this place we live and thrive as our whole selves; being authentic, present, empowered; having our voice, feeling good enough, pursuing our callings in the world, being leaders, living our lives and giving to the world.

The way I work is: what is present in the moment, experiential and non-formulaic. My recent years of training in brain science, particularly Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), naturally compliments the unique set of skills and cutting-edge tools for transformation that I have trained in and used successfully over the years: breathing, somatic work, mindfulness, guided imagery, Gestalt therapy, Transformational therapy, strength based approaches and more. All of this leading us to living “Real Life.”

I now see that, all along, I was building a roadmap that would help others find their way to this new way of living. It is unending. It is beyond my wildest dreams. It was worth all the work.

Today, I choose to be one of the many who acts as a midwife for the birth of a new world: one that works for everyone. A world that supports us all in being and becoming our best selves, supporting one another, based on the love of truth and the truth of love.

Another world is not only possible. She is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.   

~Arundhati Roy

Stay tuned for our upcoming teleclass-workshops. You can also work with me privately if you wish.

Sign up for my newsletter to be notified of events, click here. Feel free to pass this on to resonant others.

I always want to hear from you,

Lynda

Lynda Klau

 

Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

life-unlimited-blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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LIFE COACHING: LOVING YOUR BODY

End the age old war between your body, heart and mind and claim your power, beauty and freedom now!

Are you, one of the 9 out of 10 women in our country today, who is in a war with your body? Do you believe the only way you’ll have the body you want, the body men will be attracted to, is by controlling your body: rigidly exercising, putting yourself on massively depriving diets, and repeatedly telling your body what is not OK about it (which is putting it mildly)? At rock bottom do you realize that you believe that your body is dangerous, not to be trusted and is the enemy? We live in a world where there is a profound mistrust and fear of our body.  And the real truth is that your body can be a very trusted friend and partner.

Do you realize there is another way to live? Do you know your body is the way you experience life and if you lock it up, or are afraid of it, you deprive yourself of being fully alive, fully present, living moment to moment.  Are you willing to unlock the door and stop treating your body as if it were a wild animal but rather a wise friend?

 Are you ready to Love your Body, discover who and what it really is, break out of centuries of bondage, and reclaim your female power, beauty and freedom from the inside out???  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW CAN WE LOVE OUR BODIES?

1.  There is only one way: accept your body as it is now. There is a place in us that lives from acceptance and love, it loves and accepts what is, and doesn’t judge. Look at your body from the place in you that loves and accepts what is.

2.  Your acceptance has to be from you head and your heart.  You are not accepting when your head says “I accept” while you are feeling otherwise from your your heart.  That’s conflict, not acceptance.

3. Make your body your friend and partner.

4. Enjoy the pleasure, your body can feel: sensual, subtle, sexy . . .

5. Listen to its pain—your body is your best barometer for letting you know attention must be paid–emotional or physical.

6.  Listen to all the needs of your body: bodies like to rest, play, sleep, move, dance, breathe, and much more.

A NEW WAY

Did you know that you can accept your body and still choose to loose weight?  But losing weight from fear or judgment is diametrically the opposite of losing weight from LOVE. Did you know that when you eat what your body wants and you eat slowly, really experiencing the food, you will eat less and you will lose weight naturally? Discover it’s not your body that stuffs it’s face when you are lonely, angry, frustrated . . . And when your body is being fed by life and all the other things it loves your body won’t want to eat as much, because food will not be it’s only source of pleasure.

Remember accepting you body as a friend is a process.  It will take time.  Be kind to yourself.

Take your first step . . .you are on your way to walking in balance, honoring the whole of you and living from love and trust, not fear and control.  You are on your way toward ending your war.  How good for you and our world.

I always want to hear from you.

Dr.Lynda Klau

Founder & Director of

LifeUnlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com

Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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Filed under counseling, holistic , Life Coaching, love, mind body, mindfulness, personal coaching, psychotherapy