Tag Archives: empowerment

Resources: Dare to be Your Real Self!

Shift from being brilliant as a people pleaser to being AUTHENTIC

I love quotes. Do you? May these speak to you, go straight to your heart and inspire you to be who you really are.

                                                                                         Lynda

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
Was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom.
The only true success is to be able to live your life in your own way.
                                                                                         Anais Nin

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.

                                                                                         Carl Jung

A man or woman with outward courage dares to die.
A man or woman with inward courage dares to live.
                                                                                         Lao Tzu

Why must we answer the call to awaken? Why must we follow the questions of our soul? Because it is through habitual, non-inquisitive living that we lose our sense of wonder . . . Only seldom does the haze lift, as we glimpse for a moment the amazing plenitude of being here in the heart of the greatest story ever told—our own lives . . . Once you start to awaken, however, nothing or no one can ever claim you again, pull you back into old patterns. Once you start to awaken, you know how precious your time here—on earth, in this body—is. You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self . . . now you are impatient for growth, willing to put yourself in the way of change . . . You begin to trust the music of your own soul; you have inherited treasure that no one will ever be able to take from
you . . .

                                                                                         John O’Donohue

God, thou who seal thyself in the clouds, or behind the shoemaker’s house
disclose my soul,
that doleful soul of a stammering kid, show me my path,
I don’t want to be like the others;
I want to see a new world.
                                                                                         Marc Chagall

When its over, I want to say all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

                                                                                         Mary Oliver

l learned at least this by my experiences. That if one advances confidently, in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put something behind and will pass an invisible boundary.
                                                                                         Henry David Thoreau

Our past is not our potential. In any hour, with all the stubborn teachers and healers of history who called us to our best selves, we can liberate the future. One by one, we can re-choose—to awaken. To leave the prison of our conditioning, to love, to turn homeward. To conspire with and for each other. Awakening brings its own assignments, unique to each of us, chosen by each of us. Whatever you may think about yourself, and however long you may have thought it, you are not just you. You are a seed, a silent promise. You are the conspiracy.

                                                                                         Marilyn Ferguson

I’d love to hear your comments, questions and favorite quotes.

Lynda

Dr. Lynda Klau
Founder and Director of
Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility
http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com
Life-Unlimited-Blog.com
1 212 595 7373

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Are You Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic?

5 Tools to Shift from People Pleasing to Being You

Not sure who you are? If you are a Yes to many of these questions then be assured that you are a people pleaser who may want to read on . . .

  • Do you know what you really love and need?
  • Are you afraid of having a conflict and losing your connection and being alone?
  • Do you feel you are “not enough and need to pretend to be someone you are not?”
  • Does negative feedback devastate you?
  • Are you brilliant at giving other people exactly what they need but angry because no one gives you what you need?
  • Are you somewhere on this spectrum but definitely not as authentic as you want to be?

If this is you, don’t judge yourself! People pleasing is one very powerful way of surviving. However, there is another way . . .

Are you ready to move from people pleaser to authentic?
And experience the joy of having your real voice and your real self?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have helped many people go from being invisible to authentic, discover who they really are, find what they want, and have the courage to be themselves. In fact I spent years taking personal and professional training courses to journey from “people pleaser to authentic.” Now I’ve learned how to share quickly and powerfully what it took me years to learn.

Here are some key tools to begin being brilliant at Being You!

  1. Repeat this Affirmation over and over again—I want to please you, but not at the expense of losing myself.
  2. When asked if you want to do something, give yourself some space and time to know what you want. For example you can say “ I need to look at my calendar, and I’ll get back to you.  Then sit quietly with yourself and see what is right for you.
  3. Practice saying “No” with a friend. Sit facing each other and say out loud “NO.”  After a number of saying No then add some content.  “No I don’t want to get pregnant.”  “No I don’t want to make love now”. “No I don’t want to go to work today.” Notice the feelings you have that go with your No. Angry, loving, scared . . . Can you say “No” and be loving?
  4. Adopt this belief: I can be the real me and simultaneously be connected to others. I can be Separate and Connected.
  5. Buy a beautiful journal—the I Can Be Real Journal—Every night do an Evening Review of the Day. What did I say or do that was real and right for me today? How do I feel in my body as I remember that? Where did I give the real me up today? How do I feel in my body as I remember that? In these cases repeat the scene and imagine a different ending where you respond from a “real you” response. This is healing.

We are offering a New Teleclass on this critical topic: Are You Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic? This is for your personal and professional growth. To stay informed, to get free resources, and to get teleclass details click here and sign up in the box.

Feel free to contact Lynda at Lynda@drlyndaklau.com

Read about the workshop and to get future announcements by clicking here

“You become a people pleaser to survive, you become authentic to thrive.”

                                                                                                     Lynda Klau

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director of

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

New Teleclass: Are you Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic?

1 212 595 7373

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WHY I BECAME A HELPING PROFESSIONAL

By Dr. Lynda Klau

Many people have asked me why I became a helping professional. I share my answer with you now.

All my life, it appeared that I was “on the right track,” so that by the time I was in my twenties I had achieved all of the trappings of conventional success: I was married, I had earned my PhD, was financially comfortable and traveled often. But always, deep within, I felt a haunting sense of incompletion—a pervasive longing for something I couldn’t name.

Then one cold winter day in February, when I was twenty-nine, everything changed. On that day, in a professional workshop, I had a number of experiences that pierced the core of my being and unleashed my life energy, my essence, which had largely been locked up.

I felt the power of love: life itself and larger than life, the visible and the invisible. I opened to a new clarity of seeing, through which I met the present moment free from the past. I discovered what I could only call “Real Life.” This, I recognized, was what I had always been looking for—the vision that would pull me forward for the rest of my life.

Like every journey, it happened a step at a time, each step bringing a new freedom. Out of my desire to live “Real Life” which meant heal myself, live from my life energy, my essence, and live in harmony with the mystery of life, I began my life’s work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For over two decades, I have worked with individuals, couples, teams and organizations using my unique integration of a psycho-spiritual therapy, coaching and holistic business strategizing. I am a professional public speaker, and published author; I conduct workshops nationally and internationally and appear on radio and television. As an expert in the development of human possibility, I address a full spectrum of issues, from moving out of “stuckness”, fear and people pleasing—which could manifest as depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and business issues of all sorts—to evolving into a transformational, inside-out mindful and free mentality. In this place we live and thrive as our whole selves; being authentic, present, empowered; having our voice, feeling good enough, pursuing our callings in the world, being leaders, living our lives and giving to the world.

The way I work is: what is present in the moment, experiential and non-formulaic. My recent years of training in brain science, particularly Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), naturally compliments the unique set of skills and cutting-edge tools for transformation that I have trained in and used successfully over the years: breathing, somatic work, mindfulness, guided imagery, Gestalt therapy, Transformational therapy, strength based approaches and more. All of this leading us to living “Real Life.”

I now see that, all along, I was building a roadmap that would help others find their way to this new way of living. It is unending. It is beyond my wildest dreams. It was worth all the work.

Today, I choose to be one of the many who acts as a midwife for the birth of a new world: one that works for everyone. A world that supports us all in being and becoming our best selves, supporting one another, based on the love of truth and the truth of love.

Another world is not only possible. She is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.   

~Arundhati Roy

Stay tuned for our upcoming teleclass-workshops. You can also work with me privately if you wish.

Sign up for my newsletter to be notified of events, click here. Feel free to pass this on to resonant others.

I always want to hear from you,

Lynda

Lynda Klau

 

Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

life-unlimited-blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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Relationship Counseling: Don’t Hold Back: a poem by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

A How-To have relationships that are food for the soul.  Savor it!  Or tell me it’s not your food.

brought to you by Dr. Lynda Klau:

 

A relationship

is one of the mysteries of life.

and because it exists between two

persons,

it depends on both.

 

Whenever two persons meet,

a new world is created..

Just by their meeting,

a new phenomenon comes into

existence –

one which was not, before,

one which never existed before.

And through that new phenomenon,

both persons

are changed and transformed.

 

Unrelated, you are one thing:

related,

you immediately become something

else.

A new thing has happened.

 

In the beginning, only peripheries meet.

If the relationship grows intimate,

becomes closer,

becomes deeper,

then, by and by,

centers start meeting.

When centers meet,

it is called love.

 

Where peripheries meet,

it is called acquaintance.

You touch the person from without,

just from the boundary,

then it is acquaintance.

Many times,

you start calling your acquaintance

your love.

Then you are in a fallacy.

Acquaintance is not love.

Love is very rare.

To meet a person at this center

is to pass through a revolution in

yourself,

because if you want to meet a person

at his center,

you will have to allow that person

to reach your center also.

You will have to become vulnerable,

absolutely vulnerable,

absolutely vulnerable,

open.

 

It is risky.

To allow someone to reach your center

is risky and dangerous.

You never know what that person will do

to you.

Once all your secrets are known,

once your hiddenness has become

unhidden,

once you are exposed completely,

what the other person will do

you never know.

Fear is there.

That’s why we never open.

 

You can allow somebody

to enter you to your centers

only when you are not afraid,

when you are not fearful.

 

So, I say to you

there are two types of living,

One is fear-oriented;

The other is love-oriented.

 

Fear-oriented living

can never lead you into a deep

relationship.

 

You remain afraid,

and the other cannot be allowed

to penetrate you to your very core.

Up to an extent,

you allow the other to penetrate.

Then a wall comes

and everything stops.

 

The love-oriented person

is the religious person.

The love-oriented person

is one who is not afraid of the future,

one who is not afraid of the result

or of the consequence,

one who lives here and now.

 

That’s what Krishna says to Arjuna

in the Gita:

Don’t be bothered about the result.

That is the fear-oriented mind.

Don’t think about what will happen.

Just be here, and act totally.

 

Don’t calculate.

A fear-oriented mind

is always calculating,

planning,

arranging,

safeguarding.

His whole life is lost in this way.

 

When you are not afraid,

then there is nothing to hide,

then you can be open,

then you can withdraw all boundaries,

then you can invite the other

to penetrate you to the very core.

 

And remember,

If you allow somebody to penetrate you

deeply,

the other will allow you to penetrate

into himself or into herself.

When you allow somebody to penetrate

you,

trust is created.

When you are not afraid,

the other becomes fearless.

 

Kabir has said somewhere:

I look into people.

They are so afraid, but I can’t see why.

They have nothing to lose.

 

It is like a person who is naked,

but never goes to take a bath in the river

because he is afraid his clothes will be

stolen.

 

This is the situation you are in:

you have no clothes,

but you are always afraid of losing them.

What have you got to lose?

Nothing.

This body will be taken by death.

Before it is taken by death,

give it to love.

 

Whatsoever you have will be taken away.

Before it is taken away,

why not share it?

That is the only way of possessing it.

If you can share

and give,

you are the master.

 

It is going to be taken away.

There is nothing you can retain forever.

Death will destroy everything.

 

So, if you follow me rightly,

the struggle is between death and love.

If you can give,

there will be no death.

Before anything can be taken away from

you,

you will already have given it.

You will have made it a gift.

There can be no death.

 

For a lover, there is no death.

For a nonlover, every moment is a death,

because, every moment,

something is being snatched away from

him.

The body is disappearing –

he is losing it every moment.

Then there will be death

and everything will be annihilated.

 

What is the fear?

Why are you so afraid of being known?

Even if everything is known about you

and you are an open book,

why do you fear?

How can it harm you?

 

The fear is just a false conception,

given by society,

that you have to hide,

that you have to protect yourself,

that you constantly

have to be

in a fighting mood,

that everybody is an enemy,

that everything is against you.

 

Nobody is against you,

Even if you feel somebody is against you,

he, too, is not against you.

everybody is concerned with himself,

not with you.

 

There is nothing to fear.

This has to be realized

before a real relationship can happen.

There is nothing to fear.

 

 

I always want to hear from you.

 

Lynda

 

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder & Director of

LIfeUnlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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Practicing Self-Care: Women are We Killing Ourselves in the Name of Love?

Dr. Lynda Klau

A Call to All Women: more than ever, we need to choose Self-Care as our first priority in order to fulfill our potential.

Dear Woman,

  • Are you more “burned out” than you realize, running on empty most of the time?
  • Are you too drained to be truly present with the closest people in your life?
  • When people ask you how you’re doing, do you say “Great!” even though you’re dragging yourself around with your last ounce of energy?
  • Do you feel like your needs don’t count?

Despite all the progress we’ve made over the years, being a woman today is harder than ever before. Many of us are still victims of a deeply rooted, collective belief that it’s selfish to put ourselves first. No matter how many opportunities we may have gained, we’re often still expected to play the role of major caregiver—not only for our children, but our parents and partners as well.

The whole truth is that today’s woman is serving triple-duty: as a result, there’s less time than ever to focus on ourselves, both internally and externally.

Ultimately, however, nothing—no matter how important the roles we play might be—should come at the expense of our own well-being.

***

When we care for ourselves first and foremost, we become role models—for our children, our partners, and, most of all, for each other. By bringing our whole selves into the equation—rested, playful, creative, sexy, and smart—we build the foundation to do what we need to do in a balanced and harmonious way. This delivers unexpected results: the true joys of creativity, spontaneity, energy, productivity, and love.

This is not selfishness; it is the essence of Self-Care.

***

The Dalai Lama has said it is the western woman who will lead us to the new world.  That’s quite a mandate—and a compliment as well! But in order to do that, we must learn to care for ourselves first, or we will miss the mark and not fulfill our potential.

This means:

So many of us mistakenly believe that Self-Care will be just another large drain of our time and energy—one more set of demands to put on the “To Do” list. But true self-care is actually 180-degrees the opposite.

What would it take for you to make self-care a vital part of your everyday life?

***

I invite you—a woman who cares about herself and her world—to practice Self-Care and to “make our lives our own dance.” Only then will we have the chance of fulfilling our potential as women, walking into the new world, one step at a time.

Here are four exercises to strengthen your Self-Care, from wherever you are:

  1. Shut off all technological devices and sit quietly for five minutes every day.
  1. Do something you consider play “just for you” for at least fifteen minutes per day. This could mean anything: dancing in your living room, reading a book, taking a bath, singing or listening to music.
  1. Ask yourself: what do I really need and want? What really matters to me? Start to make a list of the things you love to do.
  1. Make the following quote your mantra: “Only go as fast as the slowest part of you can go.”

This is the first in a series of articles.

I always want to hear from you,

Lynda

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

blog www.Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

drlyndaklau@gmail.com

1 212 595 7373

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