Tag Archives: life coaching

An Intentional Thanksgiving 2012

Dr. Lynda Klau

How to have a Stress-Free, Restorative, Thankful, Out of the Box, 2012 Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving begins our year-end holiday season. It’s supposed to be a time of giving thanks and love but can you hear your moans and feel the dread in the atmosphere. Why? Often we get so caught up in the rituals and old habits that we lose sight of the deeper meaning and walk into Christmas and then the new year exhausted, having eaten too much, feeling irritated with our friends or family, frustrated from travelling in overload season, having spent too much money . . .

This year consider these out of the box ways of spending thanksgiving and make this Thanksgiving your best yet—give thanks for your love for yourself, your life and the people in your community.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step One – Spend some time alone and/or with your family and friends exploring how you really want to spend this holiday, what you really want to do. Be creative: go to the movies all day long, order in pizzas, spend time alone and reflect on your life (Link to http://drlyndaklau.com/media.html), catch up on sleep, go to Paris, make love all day . . . And come to clarity for yourself and for your community.

If you are alone ask yourself do you want to be with people or not? Being alone doesn’t mean you are not loved or loveable. If you want to be with people find some people to join or volunteer somewhere.

If you want to do the traditional meal and gathering then do it with kindness and joy for everyone, the cook, the clean up crew, the set-up team, and practice acceptance, listening, and being mindful.

Step Two – Create a Plan or Follow your Flow

Don’t forget to spend some time focused on the true meaning of Thanksgiving.  It is all about giving thanks

  • give thanks for your life, your breathe, the day, the air,
  • give thanks for imagining that you have achieved what you desire
  • give thanks for everything

Before we say goodbye – If you are addicted to Black Friday, how about going Cold Turkey. Just don’t go. Stay home! Go Slow!

By the end of the weekend celebrate how good you feel and how grateful you are for changing the old ritual and creating a new one that serves you and yours.

Change is ahead!

Dr. Lynda Klau

11.15.12

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director of

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

drlyndaklau@gmail.com

1 212 595 7373

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LIFE COACHING: LOVING YOUR BODY

End the age old war between your body, heart and mind and claim your power, beauty and freedom now!

Are you, one of the 9 out of 10 women in our country today, who is in a war with your body? Do you believe the only way you’ll have the body you want, the body men will be attracted to, is by controlling your body: rigidly exercising, putting yourself on massively depriving diets, and repeatedly telling your body what is not OK about it (which is putting it mildly)? At rock bottom do you realize that you believe that your body is dangerous, not to be trusted and is the enemy? We live in a world where there is a profound mistrust and fear of our body.  And the real truth is that your body can be a very trusted friend and partner.

Do you realize there is another way to live? Do you know your body is the way you experience life and if you lock it up, or are afraid of it, you deprive yourself of being fully alive, fully present, living moment to moment.  Are you willing to unlock the door and stop treating your body as if it were a wild animal but rather a wise friend?

 Are you ready to Love your Body, discover who and what it really is, break out of centuries of bondage, and reclaim your female power, beauty and freedom from the inside out???  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW CAN WE LOVE OUR BODIES?

1.  There is only one way: accept your body as it is now. There is a place in us that lives from acceptance and love, it loves and accepts what is, and doesn’t judge. Look at your body from the place in you that loves and accepts what is.

2.  Your acceptance has to be from you head and your heart.  You are not accepting when your head says “I accept” while you are feeling otherwise from your your heart.  That’s conflict, not acceptance.

3. Make your body your friend and partner.

4. Enjoy the pleasure, your body can feel: sensual, subtle, sexy . . .

5. Listen to its pain—your body is your best barometer for letting you know attention must be paid–emotional or physical.

6.  Listen to all the needs of your body: bodies like to rest, play, sleep, move, dance, breathe, and much more.

A NEW WAY

Did you know that you can accept your body and still choose to loose weight?  But losing weight from fear or judgment is diametrically the opposite of losing weight from LOVE. Did you know that when you eat what your body wants and you eat slowly, really experiencing the food, you will eat less and you will lose weight naturally? Discover it’s not your body that stuffs it’s face when you are lonely, angry, frustrated . . . And when your body is being fed by life and all the other things it loves your body won’t want to eat as much, because food will not be it’s only source of pleasure.

Remember accepting you body as a friend is a process.  It will take time.  Be kind to yourself.

Take your first step . . .you are on your way to walking in balance, honoring the whole of you and living from love and trust, not fear and control.  You are on your way toward ending your war.  How good for you and our world.

I always want to hear from you.

Dr.Lynda Klau

Founder & Director of

LifeUnlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com

Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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Life Coaching: 6 Ways To Be Your Own Best Valentine

Dr. Lynda Klau

single, divorced, separated,depression, self-judgmentHow not to fall into feeling unlovable or lonely this year because you don’t have a Valentine!

Once again, February 14th is right around the corner. And this year, for whatever reason, you don’t have a Valentine to call your own. You may be single or separated, divorced or widowed. Unfortunately, so many of us who find ourselves in this situation fall into feelings of deep inadequacy and despair. We tell ourselves: “I’m not good enough; something’s wrong with me; I’ll never find someone.” The reasons why we’re “alone” don’t matter. What matters is learning how to address these feelings so that you embrace Valentine’s Day 2012 feeling the fullness of love rather than the black hole of emptiness and lack.

Here are 6 proven ways for you to be your own best Valentine this year.

1. Avoid the black hole. You may be tempted to judge or blame yourself because you are alone. Don’t do it! Say to yourself, as often as necessary, what your deepest wisdom knows to be true: “I am lovable and connected to everyone, forever.” You don’t have to believe it for this to work!

Cherish the daily miracles that might easily be missed: the smile of a stranger, the movement of a child, a lovely connection with a service person.

2. Buy Yourself the most beautiful Valentine’s Day Card several days before the “big day.” Then spend some time writing a heartfelt note to yourself and literally mail it to your own address. When the card arrives in your mailbox, enjoy opening it and reading it on Valentine’s Day. Inhale your message, feeling its beauty in your heart. Then let that radiate to your whole body.

3. Before Valentine’s Day, ask yourself: “How do I really want to spend Valentine’s Day and evening?” Do you want to gather with friends? If so, here’s a wonderful exercise: Pair up, either standing or sitting, with one person at a time. Face each other silently, looking into each other’s eyes for a few minutes.  Feel your connection. Repeat this with each person that has gathered together with you.

Do you want to be with yourself? Then call someone you love, or who loves you, or who you know needs love and celebrate loving.

Want to treat yourself to something special? Treat yourself to a massage:  feel the nurturing touch and enjoy.

4. On the actual day, buy yourself some ‘I Love You candies’ or long stem American beauty red roses. Silently say to all parts of yourself—especially to the young and vulnerable parts—”You are loved.”

5. Wish other people you know Happy Valentine’s Day. It should be everyone and anyone: the cashier at the supermarket, the baby-sitter, your car mechanic, the doorman, the postman or post-woman. You’re not wishing them for what you’ll receive but enjoy all the “Happy Valentine’s Day wishes” you receive
back from them.

6. Know this Truth: You can only truly love and be loved by another when you are masterful at loving yourself, just the way you are.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you always!

Lynda

Dr. Lynda Klau,
Founder & Director of
Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development
http://www.drlyndaklau.com
1 212 595 7373

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Psychotherapy: getting free to live your dreams.

Psychotherapy: Transference: getting free to live your dreams.
Do you want to be free? Free of the obstacles that block you
from living your dreams. Then learn about Transference. It
is a key psychological concept that we all should know about
and understand. When we are able to be conscious that
transference is unconsciously operating in our lives; then we
have choice.


What is Transference? In the broadest definition of that term,
refers to the unconscious act of redirecting or projecting the
feelings that we had toward our parents or early caregivers
onto people in our everyday lives. To say that it affects our
behavior constantly would be an understatement. Imagine that
your boss doesn’t look you in the eyes and it instantly makes
you feel exactly as your father did when he treated you
dismissively as a child. Imagine walking into a job interview
and finding that the person behind the desk talks constantly
about herself, which unconsciously triggers the way you felt
when your father incessantly lectured you without asking your
opinions. Lastly, how many times have you been strongly
triggered by someone, either positively or negatively, without
knowing why? The truth is that most of us react to these
transferential situations emotionally and unconsciously.
The “wisdom-perspective” would advise us to detach from the
situation at hand because our personal feelings do not reflect
the objective facts. One of the common catchphrases of the
wisdom perspective is “Don’t take it personally!” But what
happens when we can’t help but do so?

If we understand the
psychological concept of Transference, then we realize that
the “real” situation we’re dealing with often triggers
a “symbolic” one that is often unconscious, activating feelings
that arise from our past. By addressing Transference, we begin
to distinguish between what is real and what is symbolic,
allowing us to return to everyday situations with awareness
and choice.



Transference Exercise

Here is an exercise to be done in your own

private time and space, designed to help decrease the negative
effects of Transference in your life:


Step 1: List the people in your everyday world who “push your
buttons.”


Step 2: Select one person on which to focus specifically.


Step 3: Perform a review of your feelings about this person. Ask
yourself: “What happened in reality? Who in my past does this
remind me of? How do I feel about that person?”


Step 4: Now visualize a boundary and separate the “real” person
you’re dealing with from the “symbolic” person they trigger


Step 5: Listen non-judgmentally to the feelings triggered by
the “symbolic” person. For example, pay attention to the things you
might have wanted to say or do to someone from your past, but
which you never did. You may even want to write your feelings down
concretely.


Step 6: Return to the “real” situation. What has changed?



This exercise should be repeated as often as necessary. It brings us
back to the “real” situation with a greater sense of emotional freedom
and clarity. The more conscious we become of our transferential
responses, their effect on us will increasingly diminish. We will not
simply unconsciously react to a person or a situation, but we will
respond productively with awareness and choice.

Want to heal your obstacles or blocks, your depression, anxiety, self-
esteem issues, and more? Want to know what your transference
rating is? Contact Dr. Lynda Klau @ drlyndaklau@gmail.com. http://
drlyndaklau.com/psychotherapy.html
.

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Life Coaching: Reclaiming Your Authentic Voice

Life Coaching: Reclaiming Your Authentic Voice

I keep observing how so many of us in this world have lost our true voice, or
never really had it to begin with. How, then, can we reclaim it?

Our Western culture teaches that the personal self is the center of our
universe, the place where all of our competing, conditioned voices live. In
this model, the rational mind of the personal self reigns supreme. The first
step toward reclaiming our authenticity, however, is to embrace a more
expansive model of who we think we are and of how we view the world.
In truth, the whole of who we are is more than sum total of our personal
self, our “persona” and our “shadow.” It is necessary to deconstruct the old
hierarchy that places our ego above our core self, our heart and our body.
Once we realize that all parts of us deserve to be listened to, we can begin to
refocus our intentions and our attention upon reclaiming our authentic voice.

Our ability to impartially observe any part of us has been called
our “witnessing presence.” This refers to a place within us that stands
apart from our conditioned beliefs and self-judgments. It allows us to
differentiate between, harmonize, and ultimately transcend them. To develop
our “witnessing presence” just as we would any other muscle is the key to
emerging from our obstructions into an authentic way of living. From this
perspective, we enter a space in consciousness that is separate from our
identifications with the personal self’ s thoughts and feelings, but which
also respects them. This allows us to experience these beliefs fully without
becoming lost in them. From here, the authentic adult in us surfaces, the
person who can successfully integrate all of his or her conditioned voices
and selves, as well as open to fresh inspirations.

Imagine that you have been in business for fifteen years and you’ ve just
been downsized. Your savings are minimal and your expenses have not
changed: the monthly bills keep piling up in the mailbox, and no new
business is coming in. A common response to such a situation would be to
automatically respond with negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings rooted in
fear: “I will never be able to recover financially. What am I going to live on?
I will never be able to support myself and my family.” Harsh self-judgments
and blame typically accompany these beliefs: “This is my fault! I must have
done something wrong!” It is crucial to realize that these beliefs, whether
coming from the “persona” or “the shadow,” are just that: beliefs. Rather
than representing the entire truth about us, our beliefs account for only one
way of responding to a difficult situation. In reality, our deepest wisdom
does not speak to us judgmentally. When situations challenge us, it is the
authentic adult in us, supported by the “witnessing presence,” that keeps
reminding ourselves that our negative thoughts and feelings are not based in
actual reality, but in our default, conditioned beliefs.

Here’ s an exercise for you, which will help you reclaim your “ witnessing
presence,” the key to unlocking your authentic voice:

The following exercise is designed to launch you on your journey
toward reclaiming your authentic voice by helping you to develop a
strong “witnessing presence”:

1. Think of a situation that is currently a source of stress and conflict in your
life. For example, this situation could involve a frustrated desire to move
forward professionally or personally. It could also involve difficulties in
your family or in your romantic life.

2. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. In your left
column, make a list of concrete facts describing this situation. In your right
column, list your feelings and beliefs about this situation.

3. Often, we are so entrenched in our feelings that we mistake them for facts.
Carefully examine each item on each list and ask yourself, to the best of
your ability, whether the “facts” are actually objectively true, or if they are
your subjective emotions or beliefs. Facts, for example, don’ t tell us “The
sky is falling!”— only feelings do!

4. Based on your findings, reconfigure the two lists so that you have a more
accurate reflection of what information is purely factual and what is based in
your own personal and subjective reactions.

5. Without judging, look at the column on the right, where you have listed
your feelings. Do they seem disproportionate to the facts? If so, try to
listen to them with the knowledge that these are your subjective beliefs and
feelings, not objective facts that define the situation or who you are.

6. Give yourself the space to inhabit and express these feelings on the page.
You are now beginning to witness your feelings without becoming entirely
identified with them.

7. Return to the “facts” of the situation with this new perspective. Having
developed our “witnessing presence,” and having realized that our subjective
responses to a situation are not a direct reflection of reality, we are in fact
developing our authentic voice, a tool of extraordinary power. The feelings
and beliefs rooted in our “persona” and our “shadow” suddenly become less
daunting. Their power over us is diminished profoundly because we see
them in their proper light. This offers the adult in us the ability to address
challenging situations from a more knowing, creative, and proactive place.
Life Coaching
Dr. Lynda Klau

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