Tag Archives: meditation

Avoidance or Awareness: How Do You Live?

Dr. Lynda Klau

“Avoidance works but Awareness works better and is in the direction of Evolution.”  Marilyn Ferguson

Years ago I read that sentence in an inspirational book by Marilyn Ferguson called “The Aquarian Conspiracy.” There are some lines that you hear once and never forget. This is one of them. Ferguson was right. Avoidance does work. You can push down, cut off, go far away, blame, not see—to varying degrees—feelings and thoughts inside you. You can live with a broken shower head, a doorbell that hasn’t rung in years, not see the garbage on the streets and much more. Avoidance supports you in living with the hard stuff without addressing it, without even being aware of it.  Avoidance helps you go forward. And, yet, there is a price to pay.

 *** 

See your right hand pushing your left fist down. Be your right hand. How much energy does your right hand need to keep your left fist down? Now see your left hand, after being held down for quite some time, and be your left hand, busting lose. Explosions happen from the repressed and suppressed. In the places where you avoid how can you be truly connected with yourself? How can you be fully intimate with another? How can your heart be wide open to all of life?

In order to survive many of us have had to avoid.  May we honor “avoidance.”  And realize its price.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awareness at its best means observing from a place that watches and does not judge. It is about waking up. You wake up to your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and decisions you’ve made about yourself and the world. I am bad. The world is dangerous. It’s my fault. You wake up to reality, the facts: you see the broken showerhead, you don’t have a job, your relationship is a mess. And you wake up to your calm center, your essence. As you build awareness you are also building another place on which to stand that holds the “all and the everything” from love and openness. From this perspective you can wholeheartedly see what is, and grow with it. What’s the downside? Often feelings and facts hurt. But the whole truth is they only hurt for a little while and then, the truth when felt, sets you free.

Do you want to move toward Awareness? Can you see some of its benefits?

What is the key to developing your Awareness? What is the major obstacle?

I always want to hear from you,

Lynda

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder & Director of

LifeUnlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

1 212 595 7373

Date 7.16.12

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Psychotherapy: getting free to live your dreams.

Psychotherapy: Transference: getting free to live your dreams.
Do you want to be free? Free of the obstacles that block you
from living your dreams. Then learn about Transference. It
is a key psychological concept that we all should know about
and understand. When we are able to be conscious that
transference is unconsciously operating in our lives; then we
have choice.


What is Transference? In the broadest definition of that term,
refers to the unconscious act of redirecting or projecting the
feelings that we had toward our parents or early caregivers
onto people in our everyday lives. To say that it affects our
behavior constantly would be an understatement. Imagine that
your boss doesn’t look you in the eyes and it instantly makes
you feel exactly as your father did when he treated you
dismissively as a child. Imagine walking into a job interview
and finding that the person behind the desk talks constantly
about herself, which unconsciously triggers the way you felt
when your father incessantly lectured you without asking your
opinions. Lastly, how many times have you been strongly
triggered by someone, either positively or negatively, without
knowing why? The truth is that most of us react to these
transferential situations emotionally and unconsciously.
The “wisdom-perspective” would advise us to detach from the
situation at hand because our personal feelings do not reflect
the objective facts. One of the common catchphrases of the
wisdom perspective is “Don’t take it personally!” But what
happens when we can’t help but do so?

If we understand the
psychological concept of Transference, then we realize that
the “real” situation we’re dealing with often triggers
a “symbolic” one that is often unconscious, activating feelings
that arise from our past. By addressing Transference, we begin
to distinguish between what is real and what is symbolic,
allowing us to return to everyday situations with awareness
and choice.



Transference Exercise

Here is an exercise to be done in your own

private time and space, designed to help decrease the negative
effects of Transference in your life:


Step 1: List the people in your everyday world who “push your
buttons.”


Step 2: Select one person on which to focus specifically.


Step 3: Perform a review of your feelings about this person. Ask
yourself: “What happened in reality? Who in my past does this
remind me of? How do I feel about that person?”


Step 4: Now visualize a boundary and separate the “real” person
you’re dealing with from the “symbolic” person they trigger


Step 5: Listen non-judgmentally to the feelings triggered by
the “symbolic” person. For example, pay attention to the things you
might have wanted to say or do to someone from your past, but
which you never did. You may even want to write your feelings down
concretely.


Step 6: Return to the “real” situation. What has changed?



This exercise should be repeated as often as necessary. It brings us
back to the “real” situation with a greater sense of emotional freedom
and clarity. The more conscious we become of our transferential
responses, their effect on us will increasingly diminish. We will not
simply unconsciously react to a person or a situation, but we will
respond productively with awareness and choice.

Want to heal your obstacles or blocks, your depression, anxiety, self-
esteem issues, and more? Want to know what your transference
rating is? Contact Dr. Lynda Klau @ drlyndaklau@gmail.com. http://
drlyndaklau.com/psychotherapy.html
.

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Psychotherapy: On Being and Becoming Whole

Blogs relating to: Psychotherapy and Couples Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy: On Being and Becoming Whole

Psychotherapy

Some of the most leading edge work in psychotherapy these days combines mindfulness, the body, neuroscience, and relationship research. I’ll be teaching a course in this powerful approach for mental health professionals as part of The Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy’s Year Long Certification Program in 2011-2012. Here’s the course description.

On Being and Becoming Whole

When we as mental health professionals combine mindfulness, neuroscience, and new relationship research, a synergetic approach emerges.

Several questions arise relevant to integrating psychotherapy and spirituality:

These and other questions inform this learning module, which draws from personal and professional stories as well as exercises and discussion.

  • How does mindfulness contribute?
  • How can we include the body?
  • What does “brain-wise” neuroscientific knowledge add?
  • What qualities can we develop to facilitate relationships that heal?

FREE OFFER

If you want to receive my hot of the press new podcast guiding you in a mindfulness meditation email me drlyndaklau@gmail.com and I’m happy to personally send it to you.

Sign up for the email newsletter on my official website for periodic updates and helpful information and resources.

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Filed under counseling, couples psychotherapy, mind body, mindfulness, personal coaching, psychotherapy, therapy

Just Be. Visit our Free Meditation Room

Need some space to chill out, cool down; need some time for yourself?

Go to our Free Meditation Room.

Perhaps you just want to sit quietly, do nothing, and Just Be.
Perhaps you want to choose one of our pictures to as the object of meditation.

You can read the simple written instructions for Mindfulness mediation.

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