Tag Archives: self care

Be More, Do Less And Save Time

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I just came back from a BEING, DO NOTHING vacation. More than ever I spent time Being and doing nothing. No agendas, no digital, no schedules.  Lots of sleep, rests and more. I returned renewed, restored and relaxed beyond words. As human BEINGS we need Being time.

Vacations are important, however, we need to have Being time everyday.

The blog post saving time by doing LESS by Alex Cavoulacos from wework.com came my way and it is so relevant to what I want to share about more time to Be.  She is on target offering us ways to save time by doing less.  Here are some of the tips that Alex suggests that I particularly resonated with:

  • Say no-it’s crucial-and she tells you how.
  • Let go of control – delegate more.
  • Pare your To Do List down by asking yourself, “What is the impact of doing this?” Great question. If there is no impact, let it go.
  • Length of meetings-shorten meetings to 20-30 minutes-that one gave me pause.

Those are smart Doing ways to save time so you have more of it.

We can also save time by Being more.

Here are some ways to Be more, Do Less and Save Time. The more we Be and stop doing, the more focused and clear we will become about what we have to do and how to do it. We will learn to let go of feeling stuck and taking things personally, and therefore save time. These Being times bring us back to center and into the presence of now, facilitate our receiving intuitions and inspirations and open our hearts.

As human beings we also need Being time to fulfill our natures.

Make time for Being in Silence and Solitude

  • Unplug everyday from everything for at least one minute. Gradually work up to three, five, ten or even fifteen! The longer the better.
  • Light a candle and sit quietly.
  • Meditate: sense your breath, watch your mind quiet and connect to your body and soul.
  • Do restorative yoga which includes holding poses for an extended period of time.
  • Soak in a bathtub.
  • Weed the garden.
  • Rock in your rocker.
  • Rest on a bed or sofa for a few minutes.
  • Practice mindfulness in all that you do. Click here for tips from Lynda.

Being more has you stopping, dipping into the well.

Returning to your center.

Resting in your inner home.

Going slower, saving time and living longer.

When we are in Harmony with ourselves, we are in harmony with the universe.

We want to be both Being and Doing, in the proper balance for who we are and the needs of the day. We want to live from our whole self, fulfilling our deepest potential.

***

This is my last post on the Life-Unlimited-Blog.  I will continue blogging on my new From Fear to Freedom Blog, which will be housed on a brand new redesign of our website, http://drlyndaklau.com. This site will be launched shortly. Stay tuned in for updates!

It’s a perfect ending blog post.

Be more, Do less.

Manifest your Freedom, No Regrets, you can Choose your Life.

The more you Be and Do wisely, the more you will live the life you love.

I’m always interested in hearing from you,

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Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

1 212 595 737

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When was the last time you said “I Love You” . . . to Yourself?

When was the last time you said “I Love You” . . . to Yourself? Now that’s a question, isn’t it?

And I’m curious about your answer. Would it be OK to ask yourself the question now? See if you can embrace whatever answer comes without judging yourself. Whatever your answer, it’s just information.

***

An Exercise for You
Here’s an exercise that can help. Sit down in a place where you won’t be disturbed. Breathe in and out three times. Close your eyes and see yourself standing in front of a mirror. Now be there in front of that mirror. Say to yourself, either silently or out loud “Your Name, I Love You.” How does it feel to the part of you who is saying it? Why are you saying it? And for the part of you who is hearing and receiving it, can you let it in? Does it feel good? Or not? What are you feeling in your body? Do you feel worthy of such self-love? Do you deserve? If you feel loved—wonderful.

If you can’t say it or it’s hard or you can’t let the love in then you may want to start saying “I Love you” and see what arises when you say those words while at the same time strengthening your love of yourself. See if you can hold love and not love. That would be a good practice.

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What did you discover? When was the last time you said I Love You to yourself: upon wakening this morning? before going to sleep last evening? a month ago? you can’t remember? hardly ever? Are you much more accustomed to hear yourself saying, “I hate this wrinkle or look at that fat roll?”

It was Carl Rogers, the psychologist, who said the hardest thing for people to say to each other are the very positive things. That is true for ourselves with ourselves. As I write to you today I’m remembering I have lived through loving and hating myself. They are two different worlds. I’m remembering one morning just around Halloween, years ago, when I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and felt such hatred for myself and the way I looked . . . even with my make-up on. I was devastated. At the time I had no voice to respond to this hateful voice to say something like “Excuse me, you don’t get to talk to me that way. Ever. For any reason!” Yes, I too know non-loving.

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Now after awakening to and transcending my early inner world I know loving and I know hating. Sometimes, many times a day I hear a voice from within say “I so love you.” And I hear another voice say, “I love you too.” Sometimes when I feel sad, sometimes when I feel lonely, sometimes when I’m stretching myself and trying something new, sometimes just because, for no reason. That kind of love for myself is right for all of us. It is our birthright. It reminds me of Derek Walcott’s beautiful poem Love after Love.

You actually don’t have to say the words out loud or even silently, what’s important is you have the feeling of self love.

If your answer is that you say “I Love You” to yourself several times a day or a week then I dance with you. But before we get too celebratory I wonder if you know where you say, “I love you” from. You see there is achievement, accomplishment, what we might call conditional “love”—which perhaps is not love at all—because you love yourself because the number on your scale is low enough today. Or did you just get engaged so you are proving you are OK to yourself? You know what I mean.

My dear friends that is accomplishment or achievement, for how much we succeeded I wouldn’t call that love; it’s achievement. Truly all good things, don’t get me wrong but not love. It is acknowledgment. I would call that “Conditional Something.” If you achieve this, that or the other, then I will love you. That is not real love. I’m sorry to say.

I’ve watched so many clients I work with, over and over again, be gravely disappointed because they finished a degree, had a huge business success and they still don’t feel lovable inside. They had a belief that an outside success would create an inside feeling. No true. They were caught in the Conditional Love hope world.

Then there is Unconditional Love. Unconditional Love is not about worthiness or deserving. It is love without conditions: “I love you because I love you, no reason. I love you because you are. No conditions, no accomplishment. I love you for being you: a total acceptance from your heart.” You still may not like that wrinkle or extra 10 pounds but it doesn’t destroy your love for yourself.

If you feel such a love without conditions for yourself, you are there. Don’t take it for granted. Whether you grew up this way or you’ve worked to come to this place, no matter: let it guide you to the life you were meant to live.

Do you know that the more we love ourselves, the more we can love others and the more we can let in another’s love for us. And if we don’t love ourselves, it does not matter how loving your partner is or family is you won’t be able to receive the love.

Self love then leads to self care.
Then you want to take care of yourself like you would care for anyone your deeply loved. And self love and self care lead to well being and thriving. Kind of interesting because self love and self care lead to creating a life that you love from your whole self.

Are you afraid that if you love yourself then you’ll be all alone? And no one else will love you. Hogwash!

The world of Unconditional Self Love helps us go forward into the unknown, fail and feel loved, experiment, and follow our passion not knowing where that will lead us and be loved. There is a power to Unconditional Self Love that you don’t want to miss. It’s life-changing.

 

For more articles on self love, self care and thriving, and living the life you love you may want to visit check out my blog post archives, and website articles and Get on our mailing list. Watch for the upcoming webinar the Feminine Power Project.

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Lynda Klau, Ph.D.
Founder & Director
Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development
www.drlyndaklau.com
life-unlimited-blog.com
1 212 595 7373

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Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO, Encourages Women to Lean In: Burnout or Liberation?

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I just wrote a press release I want to share with you:

In her recent book, Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg never addresses the necessity for the foundational power of Self-Care nor does she offer a roadmap for women that articulates the possibilities for a new model of work and living informed by wholeness, says Lynda Klau, Ph.D. Director of Life Unlimited: the Center for Human Possibility. Dr. Klau is offering a 5-week Webinar, Burn Out Prevention: Live a Life with Love for women and here are some steps you can begin now.

New York, NY (PRWEB) May 21, 2013

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While Sandberg’s observations are insightful, her manifesto for Liberation “lean in”, go to the top and lead advocates Burnout, not Liberation. Dr. Klau asserts that Self-Care is foundational and essential, not only to prevent burnout and illness, but to support women in creating lives they love. During the last 30 years there’s been an alarming positive correlation between women’s increasing stress levels and heart disease and diabetes. Self-Care includes and is not limited to time for play, silence, mindfulness, meditation, sleeping deeply and long enough, breathing, time off each day, vacations, being in your flow, doing what you love, and much more. These practices are for all women regardless of their finances and family situation.

In Dr. Klau’s opinion, another sin of omission in Lean In is that this author doesn’t delve into the unique qualities of what it means to be feminine: our emotional intelligence, relational qualities, intuition/inspiration, holistic thinking and connection with our bodies and our essence. She views Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo, as two prominent examples of just how far you can go using a male model of sitting at the table. However, Dr. Klau recommends a new model for women that needs to embrace both Self-Care as well as the unique qualities of the feminine. Only then will there be a chance for living in breadwinner-caretaker balance and wisdom, wonder, freedom and the process of true change.

Here are four exercises Dr. Klau suggests to begin:

  • Shut off all technological devices and sit quietly for five minutes every day.
  • Do something you consider play “just for you” for at least fifteen minutes per day.
  • Ask yourself: what really matters. Make a list of the things you love to do that gives you energy.

Tom Brokaw of NBC called our time the Century of Women. The Dalai Lama has said it is the western woman who will lead us to the new world. That’s quite a mandate—and a compliment as well! But in order to do so, Dr. Klau urges women to learn to care for themselves so that they have the opportunity of fulfilling their potential.

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility in New York, NY, through psychotherapycoaching, and speaking has been providing a broad spectrum of services helping women and men actualize themselves and their dreams for more than 25 years using a non-formulaic, holistic, integrative, body, mind, and neuroscience approach. They are offering a 5-week empowering Videoconference Webinar, Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love for women seeking increased success, deeper self-awareness, and to live a life with love. This is a roadmap for flourishing in these times. Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love will be held over the course of five consecutive Wednesday evenings in June and July. You are invited to attend their free introductory video conferencing webinar on Wednesday June 5th @ 7:30pm EST.

For more information on Life Unlimited programs for individuals (women and men) please visit their website: http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com e: Lynda@drlyndaklau.com, t: 212 595 7373, text: +1 (917) 830 7298

The innovative work of Life Unlimited has been featured in This Emotional Life – PBS, WBAI, Sirius Satellite Radio, Cable TV, GAINS Journal, Your Tango, Common Boundary, The Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy Journal and other media outlets.

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Wow! That was an experience!

I invite you to attend my free introductory videoconference webinar.

And the 5-week Burnout Prevention: Live a Life with Love course that follows.

Feel free to view the final version online at PRWeb and pass on my press release.

warmest wishes,

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Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

life-unlimited-blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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Practicing Self-Care: Women are We Killing Ourselves in the Name of Love?

Dr. Lynda Klau

A Call to All Women: more than ever, we need to choose Self-Care as our first priority in order to fulfill our potential.

Dear Woman,

  • Are you more “burned out” than you realize, running on empty most of the time?
  • Are you too drained to be truly present with the closest people in your life?
  • When people ask you how you’re doing, do you say “Great!” even though you’re dragging yourself around with your last ounce of energy?
  • Do you feel like your needs don’t count?

Despite all the progress we’ve made over the years, being a woman today is harder than ever before. Many of us are still victims of a deeply rooted, collective belief that it’s selfish to put ourselves first. No matter how many opportunities we may have gained, we’re often still expected to play the role of major caregiver—not only for our children, but our parents and partners as well.

The whole truth is that today’s woman is serving triple-duty: as a result, there’s less time than ever to focus on ourselves, both internally and externally.

Ultimately, however, nothing—no matter how important the roles we play might be—should come at the expense of our own well-being.

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When we care for ourselves first and foremost, we become role models—for our children, our partners, and, most of all, for each other. By bringing our whole selves into the equation—rested, playful, creative, sexy, and smart—we build the foundation to do what we need to do in a balanced and harmonious way. This delivers unexpected results: the true joys of creativity, spontaneity, energy, productivity, and love.

This is not selfishness; it is the essence of Self-Care.

***

The Dalai Lama has said it is the western woman who will lead us to the new world.  That’s quite a mandate—and a compliment as well! But in order to do that, we must learn to care for ourselves first, or we will miss the mark and not fulfill our potential.

This means:

So many of us mistakenly believe that Self-Care will be just another large drain of our time and energy—one more set of demands to put on the “To Do” list. But true self-care is actually 180-degrees the opposite.

What would it take for you to make self-care a vital part of your everyday life?

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I invite you—a woman who cares about herself and her world—to practice Self-Care and to “make our lives our own dance.” Only then will we have the chance of fulfilling our potential as women, walking into the new world, one step at a time.

Here are four exercises to strengthen your Self-Care, from wherever you are:

  1. Shut off all technological devices and sit quietly for five minutes every day.
  1. Do something you consider play “just for you” for at least fifteen minutes per day. This could mean anything: dancing in your living room, reading a book, taking a bath, singing or listening to music.
  1. Ask yourself: what do I really need and want? What really matters to me? Start to make a list of the things you love to do.
  1. Make the following quote your mantra: “Only go as fast as the slowest part of you can go.”

This is the first in a series of articles.

I always want to hear from you,

Lynda

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

blog www.Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

drlyndaklau@gmail.com

1 212 595 7373

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