Tag Archives: speaking in public

“Take the first step” toward Real Communication

Take the first step says poet David Whyte, not the second or the third for real communication: with yourself, at work, at home . . . in all communications, in all relationships.

Learn how to LISTEN even when you are angry or convinced you are right. Learn how to say what needs to be said that’s in your head and heart.

Over and over again I find myself being moved when I hear another tell me their experience. Like yesterday, I went to a new dentist who I didn’t want to like. My beloved dentist of years had retired and sold his practice to Dr. J.

Little by little as I shared my negative thoughts with a patient in the waiting room and listened to her, and then listened to Eileen as she cleaned my teeth, I saw my closed, fixed opinion begin to soften and open. And finally I meet Dr. J. He is shockingly lovely, open and smart. He is the first dentist who will listen to me talk about my health food toothpastes that have me coming for teeth cleanings every six months instead of the typical three-month visit.

Take the first step: learn how to put your feelings into words and share. Learn how to “for real” listen.

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Here’s an exercise for you to develop your sharing and listening muscles.

An Exercise: Sharing Appreciations and Resentments

1.  A speaks her appreciations to B. B listens and doesn’t interrupt. A gives concrete examples, e.g. when I asked you to turn the computer off and you did, I really appreciated that. A gives a concrete example for every appreciation. Maximum time–3 minutes.

2.  B speaks her appreciations to A.  Again, very concrete examples. A listens, hopefully with head and heart and does not interrupt.

3.  A speaks her resentments, once again using concrete examples. B listens, no interruptions.

4.  B shares resentments while A listens.

Do this for a short period of time—3 minutes each maximum.

At first you are practicing speaking and listening. There is no responding.  When you have developed a muscle, you can respond if you want to after the other person has shared. No discussion just a simple response for no more than 1 minute.

This is a powerful exercise. In the end you do not have to agree. You may really disagree. However, if you’re listening with your head, heart and body you will most likely be affected; you and the other will find your authentic way.

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Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director of

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

1 212 595 7373

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Hey Baby, I mean you, Baby Boomer: Be the Queen You Are!

Hey Baby Boomers. This is your time to lead! Be the Queen.

If as the Dalai Lama has said, that it is the western woman who will lead the world, then he is calling on you Baby Boomer, Wise Woman, Queen to lead the way.

First things first, Baby Boomer, Queen: do you have your voice? Can you speak your real truth? A leader needs to be able to speak her truth whether it is 1 on 1 or from 1-to-1000. Typically women of our generation were not taught to have, no less, speak their voice. If you have your voice, wonderful, celebrate! If you don’t, what will you do to find it? Or reclaim it?

 

Many of us learned to imitate men. But that’s not a woman’s voice or perspective. A real woman’s voice is truthful as well as compassionate, kind, relational, and non-judgmental. This is exactly what we need more of in the world today.

If you want to learn to speak your truth keep reading my blog posts for tips, tools and related topics or contact me directly

What else, Baby Boomer, Queen? Please stop mourning the loss of being a rosebud or a princess. There is a time for everything.

Now is the time to:

  • Strut like the beautiful woman you are—here’s the key: feel beautiful on the inside and you will be beautiful.
  • Lead other women to stop obsessing about age or weight
  • It’s time to appreciate all the life lessons you have learned and your wisdom
  • Start by honoring what you love. Then offer that to the world.

This is the beginning of harvest time. Enjoy your harvest. Enjoy your life experience, your wisdom. Claim your power. Our patriarchal world will have you obsessing over wrinkles and fearing this illness or that and then death. Hogwash! Show the world that being a Baby Boomer is a true coming of age and time to blossom into the full flower you are.

Take part in a world-wide movement that is changing deep-rooted collective beliefs about women and power and what we can offer the world. Change the socialization. Change your longevity.

It’s your choice! Choose to be a Queen for yourself, for your family, for your community, for our world. The world needs you Baby.

You hold the keys to the Kingdom or should I say Queendom!

Dr. Lynda Klau

10.18.12

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director of

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com


Life-Unlimited-Blog.com


1 212 595 7373

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