Tag Archives: success

Resources: Dare to be Your Real Self!

Shift from being brilliant as a people pleaser to being AUTHENTIC

I love quotes. Do you? May these speak to you, go straight to your heart and inspire you to be who you really are.

                                                                                         Lynda

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
Was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom.
The only true success is to be able to live your life in your own way.
                                                                                         Anais Nin

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.

                                                                                         Carl Jung

A man or woman with outward courage dares to die.
A man or woman with inward courage dares to live.
                                                                                         Lao Tzu

Why must we answer the call to awaken? Why must we follow the questions of our soul? Because it is through habitual, non-inquisitive living that we lose our sense of wonder . . . Only seldom does the haze lift, as we glimpse for a moment the amazing plenitude of being here in the heart of the greatest story ever told—our own lives . . . Once you start to awaken, however, nothing or no one can ever claim you again, pull you back into old patterns. Once you start to awaken, you know how precious your time here—on earth, in this body—is. You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self . . . now you are impatient for growth, willing to put yourself in the way of change . . . You begin to trust the music of your own soul; you have inherited treasure that no one will ever be able to take from
you . . .

                                                                                         John O’Donohue

God, thou who seal thyself in the clouds, or behind the shoemaker’s house
disclose my soul,
that doleful soul of a stammering kid, show me my path,
I don’t want to be like the others;
I want to see a new world.
                                                                                         Marc Chagall

When its over, I want to say all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

                                                                                         Mary Oliver

l learned at least this by my experiences. That if one advances confidently, in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put something behind and will pass an invisible boundary.
                                                                                         Henry David Thoreau

Our past is not our potential. In any hour, with all the stubborn teachers and healers of history who called us to our best selves, we can liberate the future. One by one, we can re-choose—to awaken. To leave the prison of our conditioning, to love, to turn homeward. To conspire with and for each other. Awakening brings its own assignments, unique to each of us, chosen by each of us. Whatever you may think about yourself, and however long you may have thought it, you are not just you. You are a seed, a silent promise. You are the conspiracy.

                                                                                         Marilyn Ferguson

I’d love to hear your comments, questions and favorite quotes.

Lynda

Dr. Lynda Klau
Founder and Director of
Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility
http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com
Life-Unlimited-Blog.com
1 212 595 7373

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Are You Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic?

5 Tools to Shift from People Pleasing to Being You

Not sure who you are? If you are a Yes to many of these questions then be assured that you are a people pleaser who may want to read on . . .

  • Do you know what you really love and need?
  • Are you afraid of having a conflict and losing your connection and being alone?
  • Do you feel you are “not enough and need to pretend to be someone you are not?”
  • Does negative feedback devastate you?
  • Are you brilliant at giving other people exactly what they need but angry because no one gives you what you need?
  • Are you somewhere on this spectrum but definitely not as authentic as you want to be?

If this is you, don’t judge yourself! People pleasing is one very powerful way of surviving. However, there is another way . . .

Are you ready to move from people pleaser to authentic?
And experience the joy of having your real voice and your real self?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have helped many people go from being invisible to authentic, discover who they really are, find what they want, and have the courage to be themselves. In fact I spent years taking personal and professional training courses to journey from “people pleaser to authentic.” Now I’ve learned how to share quickly and powerfully what it took me years to learn.

Here are some key tools to begin being brilliant at Being You!

  1. Repeat this Affirmation over and over again—I want to please you, but not at the expense of losing myself.
  2. When asked if you want to do something, give yourself some space and time to know what you want. For example you can say “ I need to look at my calendar, and I’ll get back to you.  Then sit quietly with yourself and see what is right for you.
  3. Practice saying “No” with a friend. Sit facing each other and say out loud “NO.”  After a number of saying No then add some content.  “No I don’t want to get pregnant.”  “No I don’t want to make love now”. “No I don’t want to go to work today.” Notice the feelings you have that go with your No. Angry, loving, scared . . . Can you say “No” and be loving?
  4. Adopt this belief: I can be the real me and simultaneously be connected to others. I can be Separate and Connected.
  5. Buy a beautiful journal—the I Can Be Real Journal—Every night do an Evening Review of the Day. What did I say or do that was real and right for me today? How do I feel in my body as I remember that? Where did I give the real me up today? How do I feel in my body as I remember that? In these cases repeat the scene and imagine a different ending where you respond from a “real you” response. This is healing.

We are offering a New Teleclass on this critical topic: Are You Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic? This is for your personal and professional growth. To stay informed, to get free resources, and to get teleclass details click here and sign up in the box.

Feel free to contact Lynda at Lynda@drlyndaklau.com

Read about the workshop and to get future announcements by clicking here

“You become a people pleaser to survive, you become authentic to thrive.”

                                                                                                     Lynda Klau

Dr. Lynda Klau

Founder and Director of

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility

www.DrLyndaKlau.com

Life-Unlimited-Blog.com

New Teleclass: Are you Brilliant at People Pleasing But Long to be Authentic?

1 212 595 7373

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Life Coaching: Reclaiming Your Authentic Voice

Life Coaching: Reclaiming Your Authentic Voice

I keep observing how so many of us in this world have lost our true voice, or
never really had it to begin with. How, then, can we reclaim it?

Our Western culture teaches that the personal self is the center of our
universe, the place where all of our competing, conditioned voices live. In
this model, the rational mind of the personal self reigns supreme. The first
step toward reclaiming our authenticity, however, is to embrace a more
expansive model of who we think we are and of how we view the world.
In truth, the whole of who we are is more than sum total of our personal
self, our “persona” and our “shadow.” It is necessary to deconstruct the old
hierarchy that places our ego above our core self, our heart and our body.
Once we realize that all parts of us deserve to be listened to, we can begin to
refocus our intentions and our attention upon reclaiming our authentic voice.

Our ability to impartially observe any part of us has been called
our “witnessing presence.” This refers to a place within us that stands
apart from our conditioned beliefs and self-judgments. It allows us to
differentiate between, harmonize, and ultimately transcend them. To develop
our “witnessing presence” just as we would any other muscle is the key to
emerging from our obstructions into an authentic way of living. From this
perspective, we enter a space in consciousness that is separate from our
identifications with the personal self’ s thoughts and feelings, but which
also respects them. This allows us to experience these beliefs fully without
becoming lost in them. From here, the authentic adult in us surfaces, the
person who can successfully integrate all of his or her conditioned voices
and selves, as well as open to fresh inspirations.

Imagine that you have been in business for fifteen years and you’ ve just
been downsized. Your savings are minimal and your expenses have not
changed: the monthly bills keep piling up in the mailbox, and no new
business is coming in. A common response to such a situation would be to
automatically respond with negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings rooted in
fear: “I will never be able to recover financially. What am I going to live on?
I will never be able to support myself and my family.” Harsh self-judgments
and blame typically accompany these beliefs: “This is my fault! I must have
done something wrong!” It is crucial to realize that these beliefs, whether
coming from the “persona” or “the shadow,” are just that: beliefs. Rather
than representing the entire truth about us, our beliefs account for only one
way of responding to a difficult situation. In reality, our deepest wisdom
does not speak to us judgmentally. When situations challenge us, it is the
authentic adult in us, supported by the “witnessing presence,” that keeps
reminding ourselves that our negative thoughts and feelings are not based in
actual reality, but in our default, conditioned beliefs.

Here’ s an exercise for you, which will help you reclaim your “ witnessing
presence,” the key to unlocking your authentic voice:

The following exercise is designed to launch you on your journey
toward reclaiming your authentic voice by helping you to develop a
strong “witnessing presence”:

1. Think of a situation that is currently a source of stress and conflict in your
life. For example, this situation could involve a frustrated desire to move
forward professionally or personally. It could also involve difficulties in
your family or in your romantic life.

2. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. In your left
column, make a list of concrete facts describing this situation. In your right
column, list your feelings and beliefs about this situation.

3. Often, we are so entrenched in our feelings that we mistake them for facts.
Carefully examine each item on each list and ask yourself, to the best of
your ability, whether the “facts” are actually objectively true, or if they are
your subjective emotions or beliefs. Facts, for example, don’ t tell us “The
sky is falling!”— only feelings do!

4. Based on your findings, reconfigure the two lists so that you have a more
accurate reflection of what information is purely factual and what is based in
your own personal and subjective reactions.

5. Without judging, look at the column on the right, where you have listed
your feelings. Do they seem disproportionate to the facts? If so, try to
listen to them with the knowledge that these are your subjective beliefs and
feelings, not objective facts that define the situation or who you are.

6. Give yourself the space to inhabit and express these feelings on the page.
You are now beginning to witness your feelings without becoming entirely
identified with them.

7. Return to the “facts” of the situation with this new perspective. Having
developed our “witnessing presence,” and having realized that our subjective
responses to a situation are not a direct reflection of reality, we are in fact
developing our authentic voice, a tool of extraordinary power. The feelings
and beliefs rooted in our “persona” and our “shadow” suddenly become less
daunting. Their power over us is diminished profoundly because we see
them in their proper light. This offers the adult in us the ability to address
challenging situations from a more knowing, creative, and proactive place.
Life Coaching
Dr. Lynda Klau

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