Tag Archives: Transformation

WHY I BECAME A HELPING PROFESSIONAL

By Dr. Lynda Klau

Many people have asked me why I became a helping professional. I share my answer with you now.

All my life, it appeared that I was “on the right track,” so that by the time I was in my twenties I had achieved all of the trappings of conventional success: I was married, I had earned my PhD, was financially comfortable and traveled often. But always, deep within, I felt a haunting sense of incompletion—a pervasive longing for something I couldn’t name.

Then one cold winter day in February, when I was twenty-nine, everything changed. On that day, in a professional workshop, I had a number of experiences that pierced the core of my being and unleashed my life energy, my essence, which had largely been locked up.

I felt the power of love: life itself and larger than life, the visible and the invisible. I opened to a new clarity of seeing, through which I met the present moment free from the past. I discovered what I could only call “Real Life.” This, I recognized, was what I had always been looking for—the vision that would pull me forward for the rest of my life.

Like every journey, it happened a step at a time, each step bringing a new freedom. Out of my desire to live “Real Life” which meant heal myself, live from my life energy, my essence, and live in harmony with the mystery of life, I began my life’s work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For over two decades, I have worked with individuals, couples, teams and organizations using my unique integration of a psycho-spiritual therapy, coaching and holistic business strategizing. I am a professional public speaker, and published author; I conduct workshops nationally and internationally and appear on radio and television. As an expert in the development of human possibility, I address a full spectrum of issues, from moving out of “stuckness”, fear and people pleasing—which could manifest as depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and business issues of all sorts—to evolving into a transformational, inside-out mindful and free mentality. In this place we live and thrive as our whole selves; being authentic, present, empowered; having our voice, feeling good enough, pursuing our callings in the world, being leaders, living our lives and giving to the world.

The way I work is: what is present in the moment, experiential and non-formulaic. My recent years of training in brain science, particularly Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), naturally compliments the unique set of skills and cutting-edge tools for transformation that I have trained in and used successfully over the years: breathing, somatic work, mindfulness, guided imagery, Gestalt therapy, Transformational therapy, strength based approaches and more. All of this leading us to living “Real Life.”

I now see that, all along, I was building a roadmap that would help others find their way to this new way of living. It is unending. It is beyond my wildest dreams. It was worth all the work.

Today, I choose to be one of the many who acts as a midwife for the birth of a new world: one that works for everyone. A world that supports us all in being and becoming our best selves, supporting one another, based on the love of truth and the truth of love.

Another world is not only possible. She is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.   

~Arundhati Roy

Stay tuned for our upcoming teleclass-workshops. You can also work with me privately if you wish.

Sign up for my newsletter to be notified of events, click here. Feel free to pass this on to resonant others.

I always want to hear from you,

Lynda

Lynda Klau

 

Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

Founder & Director

Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Development

www.drlyndaklau.com

life-unlimited-blog.com

1 212 595 7373

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Filed under business coaching, business counseling, business leadership, coaching for entrepreneurs, counseling, couples counseling, couples psychotherapy, couples psychotherapy, holistic , leadership coaching, Life Coaching, mind body, mindfulness, personal coaching, psychotherapy

Mindfulness: The Art of Cultivating Resilience.

Resilience, MindfulnessUndeniably, sooner or later, we all have to deal with life’s realities—those hard surprises and “unknowns” that can literally change everything in less than a nanosecond.

Imagine you’ve just been fired. Many of us would react to this situation in at least some of the following ways:

“I’m terrified.”

“I should have seen this coming.”

“I’ll never find another job in this economy.”

“Am I going to be homeless?”

“I’m a failure.”

Reactions like these reflect a fear-based survival framework for viewing the situation, whereby we filter the external facts of what’s happening through the internal lens of what we feel (our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and body sensations). In this way, our fear creates our reality, locking us in anger, powerlessness, and blame.

Mindfulness: A Tool for Re-contextualizing and Reframing

“People are not afraid of things, but of how they view them.”- Epictetus

Although it’s understandable why we might react from fear when facing the prospect of losing our job, or other challenging situations, mindfulness is a powerful tool that offers us the opportunity to make a radical shift in orientation.

Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our awareness to what we are experiencing in the present, both internally and externally, without judgment (Kornfield, 2009). It is a wake-up call to become conscious of the ways we perceive and respond to life’s situations. When we live mindfully, we shift our entire ground of being.

Here’s a traditional, easy-to-follow exercise to help develop your mindfulness during difficult situations (Klau, 2009). Mindfulness takes time to develop. It is an ongoing process. Be kind and compassionate to yourself as you follow these instructions.

Sit in a quiet room where you won’t be disturbed.

Close your eyes and focus your attention on your breath.

It’s natural for your attention to become distracted. When that happens, simply return to your breath.

While focusing on your breath, allow your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and body sensations to enter your awareness as you perceive the external situation.

Now ask yourself: What are the facts of the situation? What are my thoughts, feelings, beliefs and body sensations? How am I responding?

With practice, this exercise can bring us to our calm, reflective center. This safe-haven, in which we can rest and see more clearly, holds and contains everything arising for us in the present. From here, it is possible to deconstruct, re-contextualize and reframe our original fear-based feelings and reactions, honoring and embracing them without being their victims.

For example, let’s return to the original situation, where you’ve just lost your job. Rather than automatically reacting with fear, Mindfulness helps you realize and accept: “The only fact about this situation is that I don’t have my job right now. Everything else— my self-judgment, my fear, my blame, my anger, and the tightness in my body— is my feelings.”

We don’t have to meditate to practice being mindful. There are many ways to incorporate mindfulness into our daily lives. As we become increasingly mindful, we can begin to respond from a place of freedom and choice. In other words, we can act with resilience.

What Does Resilient Living Look Like?

The more mindful we become, the more we broaden and build several inner resources that help us strengthen our resilience (Fredrickson, 2001). These include:

Compassion: You hold the intention not to judge yourself or others. You are mindful of your self-talk. However, if you do judge yourself, you don’t judge yourself for judging. You are kinder and more supportive. If mindfulness brings the wisdom to see clearly, then compassion brings a loving heart (Neff, 2011).

Acceptance: You increasingly accept the facts, which you can distinguish from the feelings. Acceptance isn’t about “giving up”. It is having the strength to “let go” of control and stop fighting reality.

Openness: You’re progressively open to viewing even the most difficult situations as opportunities for growth. You trust that they have something to teach you, and you expect to learn.

Creativity: You draw on your power to visualize and create the results you desire. At the same time, in the spirit of acceptance, you are not attached or fixated upon your own expectations.

Living resiliently is more than just “bouncing back”. It is about shifting our perceptions, changing our responses, and learning something new. For example, a resilient response to losing our job might re-contextualize and reframe the situation in any of the following ways:

“I’m going to breathe deeply and take things one step at a time.”

“I may not like it, but this is the way it is. My first step will be to file for unemployment.”

“I’m not going to play ‘the blame game’. It’s not my boss’ fault or mine.”

“I’m sure that there’s a lesson or two for me to learn from all this.”

“It would be easy to get ‘just another job’. I’m going to find one that I’m truly passionate about.”

In Conclusion:

Living resiliently represents a whole new way of being and doing. In this way, resilience isn’t just for the hard times…it’s for all times. Empowering us to live, love, and work adventurously in the face of change, it builds a well from which we can draw for the rest of our lives.

References

Fredrickson, B.L (2009) Positivity, Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity and Thrive, Random House, NewYork.
Klau, L (2009) Mindfulness: The New Zen of Time Management, GAINS Quarterly, Summer.
Kornfield, J. (2009) The Wise Heart, Random House, New York.
Neff, K (2011) Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind.
Siegel, D.J. (2010) Mindsight, The New Science of Personal Transformation, Random House, New York.

This article may also be viewed at http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/mindfulness-art-cultivating-resilience

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